I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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