Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
