Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
