Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
