Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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