Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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