I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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