WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
