I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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