I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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