ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
