Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
