is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
