Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need water and some morals
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize