I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
