People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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