it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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