New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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