It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
