Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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