if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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