You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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