I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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