I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
