Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize