I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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