Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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