I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
