Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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