Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
