he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
