Define "chronic" masturbator.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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