If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
