What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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