some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
