a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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