My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
