She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize