I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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