I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
