i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
