Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
