dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
