i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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