I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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