How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
