Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize