Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize