I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You have to summon your inner elephant
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
