you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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