if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
