I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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