:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
