he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
