Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize