I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How external is "for external use only"?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
