I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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