That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
