you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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