what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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