I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
