That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
