hotel room ftw
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
