took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
