We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
