and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
50% drunk capacity currently
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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