nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
