Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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