problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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